


It Wasn't Love

by zoegayle



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Originally Posted on Tumblr, but theres fluff, i cant angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-04
Updated: 2015-02-04
Packaged: 2018-03-10 10:46:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3287405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zoegayle/pseuds/zoegayle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>just an angsty drabble thats not even /that/ sad</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Wasn't Love

It’s just not working out anymore. Dean didn’t know how he and Cas became a thing in the first place but it’s just not working. Dean’s pretty sure it was when Cas asked the question; ‘If the pizza man truly loves her than why is he slapping her butt?’, and Dean was getting tired of just his hand. Dean needed sex. Any type of sex would do just not his own fucking hand.

Sometimes Dean likes how much Cas cares for him but Cas is his guardian angel that’s his damn job. His job wasn’t to be attractive and make Dean sexually frustrated even more than before. Dean knew for sure he wasn’t gay, maybe he was bisexual, or maybe it was because Cas was too attractive for anybody.

Dean knew he was falling out of love when he hadn’t seen Cas in a while, missing him every day, when just one day Dean woke up and lived life as normal and it wasn’t until nine o’clock at night when Dean was staring up at the ceiling and started to cry. He forgot about his most favorite person ever all day. Dean knew it was beginning suffer.

When Cas came back from his ‘vacation’ they had sex. Dean knew it was wrong but he missed Cas and wanted sex.

On Dean’s side they were fuck buddies. On Cas’ side they were boyfriends. They would sit on the coach and sit so close they were practically in each other’s lap. Sam would roll his eyes at how close they were. As soon as Cas would fall asleep on Dean’s shoulder Dean would carefully- to not wake him- move away and lay a blanket over him before Dean walked over to the recliner leaving Cas to lay on the coach by himself.

It wasn't love. It never was love. It was having sex with an angel. It was just sex. And that’s all it’ll ever be.

Dean knows the first time he saw Cas he was a little in love- and that scared him. He doesn’t want or like commitment. Dean didn’t want love. He didn’t need love. He just thought Cas was cute. At least that’s what Dean told himself.

Cas knew that Dean never liked him. Maybe as a friend. Maybe. He knows cause when he once woke up next to Dean one morning, Dean wasn’t even there. He was sprawled out on the couch with his feet on the coffee table half asleep he told Cas good morning. Dean wasn’t heartless even if he thought so himself sometimes.

Dean knew that Cas knew. Cas knew that Dean knew.

It wasn't love.

It’ll never be love.

It never has been love.

They took a break. During that break Cas had sex with a woman who almost killed him. When Dean found Cas almost dead he did realize he didn’t want Cas to be dead. They may not have worked out as a couple but they still didn’t want the other dead.

One day a couple months after not seeing Cas at all, there was no sign of him Dean said his name. When Dean said Cas’ name Sam heard the hitch in his voice but didn’t say anything not wanting to make a scene where Dean would blow up.

I don’t miss him. I don’t miss him. Dean would say under his breath whenever he saw anything that would remind him of Cas. I won’t miss him. I’ll forget him.

One day Dean saw Cas in a coffee shop. Cas was sitting there reading a book. Dean moved in front of Cas and asked, “Mind if I sit here?”

“Um sure-“ Cas looked up from his book to see the almost tears in Deans eyes. “Yeah Dean you can sit here.” He smiled.

“So how have you been?” really Dean it’s been two months and you say how have you been.

“Good, I guess.”

They talked until closing hours. They talked at the park where they decided to go. They talked when they sat back on the bed Cas knew so well four months ago.

Dean told Cas he was ready for commitment. Dean did love Cas. Cas told him he would take Dean back. They held each other while falling asleep that night.

**Author's Note:**

> yeah i no these are bad i just want to delete the side blog i put these on and dont want to completly loose them. these are the first i wrote and there like my babies


End file.
